Kelly's Blog

November 1, 2010

My photo shoot is this week. I’ve done this before as I have done some modeling in my 20s, 
nothing elaborate or noteworthy, but a little, enough to be comfortable in front of the camera.
But this time it is different. I am actually questioning my decision to have these pictures done at all. 
They are not necessarily boudoir photos but they evoke some sexuality as I will be showing poses 
on the pole and sensual movement. I am going over and over in my head what I should wear and 
can’t come up with anything age appropriate. Can I get away with lingerie? How much skin should 
I show? All my desired outfits seem appropriate for a younger woman but I find that maybe I should
cover up a bit more. Which leads me to the question, at what age do you stop representing yourself
sexually?

When I was younger, everyone was doing Glamour shots. They had studios in the malls and most 
women I know have a Glamour shot tucked away somewhere in a shoe box. They were fun,
 innocent, provocative and, in retrospect, a little tacky. But I was young and fresh looking so I look 
 back and think it was cute and it puts a smile on my face.

Do young woman have a monopoly on this? Are we now too self-conscious of the way our body
looks after childbirth, weight gain and sun damage? Maybe, with the emphasis on youth in our 
society, we don’t want to put ourselves out there for fear of criticism or ridicule, or worse yet, pity 
or amusement? Whatever it is, I’m struggling to decide what image I want to portray. I would like 
to be seen as a woman that is still attractive, sensual & sexual and yet a bit older. I want to look 
at these photos a few years from now and feel proud of them. Not look back and think this is 
an older woman who is desperate to hold onto her youth.

Conversely, I also refuse to give up my sexuality! It is still a part of me and an important part. 
I want the world to know that there is still life after 40. We are still interesting, multi-dimensional
and attractive. We don’t fall off a metaphoric cliff never to be seen from again. This is not only a 
service to women in their 40s but to all women. There is no ticking clock that says we are only
viable until 40. Women of all ages can relax and enjoy every phase of our life without fear that 
we are too old or getting close. Women are taking better care of themselves, eating better, 
exercising, and thanks to medical technology there is no reason to look like granny from the 
Beverly Hillbillies unless we want to (for comparative reference - granny, Irene Ryan, was 60 



                  Photographed by: Christy Mumm, JLM Photography

I would have thought I was alone in this concern but the attached photo tells me that isn’t so. My understanding
of the back story is that these women had a very difficult time being photographed. Once dressed, they walked around being covered in a sheet and had trouble feeling comfortable in the outfits. They only agreed to do this shoot for a friend, not even for themselves.

I look at the above women and see beautiful, sexy and brave women. I see them as embracing all parts of themselves and while it may have been difficult, they put themselves out there and allowed the world to see
that they are not giving up. They are still full of life, fun and sexuality. We all need to open our eyes to the
beauty in all women at all stages of their lives. It is a shame to put women into a box and not let their growth, maturity and inspiration shine. These women deserve our support and gratitude for being vulnerable, strong
and opening the doors for the rest of us to walk through. Because of them I will wear whatever the hell I
want for my photo shoot. I will embrace this phase of my life and dress appropriately for me and not my age! However, I may have that sheet nearby, just in case.

October 1, 2010

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and
beginning the work of becoming yourself."
– Anna Quindlen

The handspring, summersault, tumble, suicide dive…crazy, fun, challenging tricks! It is amazing that we are learning all these new death-defying tricks. It is fun to have a goal and to watch your body become stronger
week by week and get closer to taking on and overcoming these challenges. I think that’s why so many women come back to pole dancing time and time again. We are always challenged. Thanks to YouTube, we have a
whole new curriculum online that inspires and drives us. Not to mention having workshops with professional
pole dancers (although, they are a combination of both dancers and gymnasts) coming into the studio to
amaze us and propel us further than we thought possible for ourselves. As an instructor, I see woman bust their butts during the warm-up, enduring through song after song of abs and planks, and trying to perfect a trick or movement. Pushing their bodies further than they thought possible. It is both inspiring and humbling.

This can be intimidating as well. Will I get hurt? Could I fall? Am I too old? Do these concerns mean I can’t take pole class anymore? Is there a place for me in class if I decide I don’t want risk being injured, I can’t afford
to have bruises or I am just afraid to give it a shot? What about the women that want to be fit, have fun, dance
and let go of some stress and then get back to their lives?

This is still the place! While the tricks are the impressive and fun, they are only part of pole fitness. I think pole fitness has become so popular because it is for every woman! Just spinning around the pole evokes images of our time as young girls on the playground; whipping our hair, feeling like we are flying, and just having fun.
It allows us as women to spend time being present in our bodies, tending to our well-being and enjoying the company of like-minded women. We give so much to our families, our jobs, our friends, that just connecting to ourselves, feeling our feelings and pushing our bodies past our expectations is a luxury and necessity at
the same time. We look forward to our workouts. What gets women into the door seems to be the fitness
aspect, but what keeps them hooked is the unique way a woman can express herself through the movement.